If you've already arrived at a decision or belief then your mind is not being receptive to new information, therefore how can you grow and expand your own awareness? Oftentimes many people go into situations where they feel they know everything and they look to test or challenge that given situation in an attempt to reinforce what they already sense is wrong with the very belief system they are fervently trying to validate. By trying to validate what they know (the concepts they carry within them) and reinforce their own perspectives, rather than going into a situation with an open mind to actually learn something new that they can incorporate into their life, they self-isolate themselves from the learning experience.

Many people feel threatened by views, beliefs or opinions that are different than their own. This is because it challenges their perception of their own beliefs which have shaped their life, because it makes them fear something about themselves, or because it hits too close to home and makes them uncomfortable. No individual wants to look into the darkness of their own inner-being. What this process does is that it makes you have to re-evaluate your own subjective reasoning and what if you are wrong? Indeed. What if you are wrong? Isn't that what this is really about, your feeling right and validated, not wrong or in error about something and therefore feeling flawed? Perhaps so. If anything, this process brings you closer to embracing your higher-self and others. Everyone, yes, everyone you meet holds a piece of what you need to integrate yourself fully and learn through your shared interactions. At times the hardest step in healing is that very first step where you have to allow yourself to receive the acknowledgement, that on some level you are not in control and that the primary and perhaps the only thing you do have control over is how you choose to react to any given set of circumstances.

How many of you have had a bad attitude about yourself? Do you doubt yourself, blame yourself for other people's feelings?You have a relationship with yourself, indeed you do. This is a much more active relationship than with anyone else. Why? Because you cannot escape yourself and no matter what you do and how you convince yourself or reason with yourself to rectify and excuse your behaviors, when you are alone with yourself you know the truth about who you are. You know the truth about yourself and that is a very difficult thing if you have not done the right things in your life. Everywhere you go, there you are and you can not get away from yourself. If you do not like yourself you are in store for a wretched life because, dear ones, you well know what it is like to be around someone you don't like. Imagine not liking yourself and not being able to get away from yourself.

You cannot think about yourself in comparison to someone else. Well, you can, but truly it won't enhance how you feel about yourself because when you do compare yourself to someone else it is usually through your own sense of lackage - you don't have the money they have, they seem happier than you, they have a better relationship than you and only 'if this' and only 'if that' you could be happy. Now, isn't that so?

You cannot compare yourself to people you think are okay - all of you have your own strengths and weaknesses, each of you. You need to be proactively forward movers. You should not concentrate on your weaknesses. Stop it and start concentrating on your strengths. Now, don't you boo-hoo that you don't have any (special gifts) and you don't know what they are (because you are so busy comparing yourself to someone else.) Just 'stop that' and get it right. Focus on what you are good at. For some it may be cooking, for others it may be math, and for some it may be crafting - each of you has something you do well. Focus on it and be satisfied with what it is. Concentrate on what you are good at rather than trying to develop skills you don't have and aren't naturally good at. Because you just frustrate yourself if you do that. If you can't cook, don't. If you aren't book smart then be smart about what you do know and seek to learn more about what you don't know.

Learn to expand your discomfort level and find comfort in entertaining new ways of thinking. Challenge yourself to be around people who lift you up and challenge you to be better rather than being around those who keep you where you are in your life and belief systems (because if you succeed it will remind them of how short they have fallen in their own ability to succeed). So in a sense, in their mind and instinctively, they will set about to keep you locked into their dynamic of limitation.

We are all different personalities. Some people like gardening, some like shopping. That is just human nature; not everyone has to like the same things. People don't fit in the same boxes. Break out of your box and break free from your fears that keep you limited and afraid of trying something new. Where has this gotten you? If you are going to be something you're not, if you are not happy, start to think differently. Have some faith in yourself that you do have your own gifts and special talents; they don't have to be like everyone else's. People around you may not know what to do with you - they may say, "What are you doing?" That is all well and good, let them because this is not about them, it is about you and you living your life, not the life of someone else. Use your good old fashioned common sense and enjoy being where you are in your life.

Love your neighbor as you do yourself. Yes, there is always that one neighbor, isn't there, that just rubs you the wrong way. Well, equally you may rub them the wrong way too. What is normal to you is normal because of your personal perspective, and to them their sense of normality is nothing more than the reflection of their own personal and family dynamics. Let go of it and view them as an extension of yourself. Don't engage them. Just acknowledge that they are there and go on with your life. If you can't focus on yourself, if you let others pull you into their drama and if you don't love yourself then how can you be of any use to anyone else? If you don't have a good relationship with yourself then you can't have a good relationship with anyone else. That is why it is important to do the right things in your life.

You need to like yourself so you can live with yourself and that means being the right way and doing the right things which does not mean doing the self-validating things that you would have a tendency to do because you have to justify your actions. You know what it means to be the right way.

You should not be involved with anything that does not make you feel good about yourself. If you don't feel good about yourself and the situation you are in you need to change that. If you don't feel good it is like having a mental illness because you can't have faith in yourself, you can feel good emotions and you can't have good sense of self-worth when you don't feel good about yourself. Simple isn't it? Don't affirm the negative. Don't make negative statements about yourself. Keep your mouth shut when you have the dire need to say something negative about someone else - keep it to yourself. If you say something negative about someone else those around you will wonder if you will say negative things about them. You do not have to stand on someone else's back to stand tall.

If you don't like yourself then you are in a constant battle with yourself. You need to forgive yourself and release yourself from the fear you have of being guilty of something or of having done something so wrong you could never make it right. Let go of these things and get a sense of faith so you can receive forgiveness. Ask your higher-self to forgive you and be willing to allow yourself to receive your own forgiveness.

You know those times when you pray and say, "'Oh, God heal me of this, help me with that and I'll do this or that." Or you beat yourself over and over saying, "'Oh, God what did I do, Oh God help me, help me, heal me." And you beat yourself even more - too much is too much even for God. Self-flagellation and false modesty are not how you heal or receive forgiveness. How self serving is it to think it is all about you and you can make yourself the victim - poor you begging and pleading. God wants you to help yourself. Show that you are willing to step up and actually do some of the work in receiving forgiveness. Keep it simple and ask for help, then be willing to see it and hear it and accept it when it comes. You cannot control how you will be helped or receive forgiveness. It has to come by allowing it to, by accepting the fact that everyone makes mistakes. Forgive yourself and move on. Remember you don't have to beat yourself up and you don't have to be miserable.

Ask that a sense of joy come into you. Feel a sense of connection to something higher than yourself and own individual perspective. Feel your way through your fears and personal programming. Be in a right relationship with yourself, with your higher self (meaning that you have to step aside from you own subjective perspectives) and be right with God.

Now some of you only feel right when something is wrong. You know yourself, if that is you - "'I can't feel right when I constantly feel like a shoe is going to drop." You can be successful being yourself but stop looking for the shoe to drop, that is only an old script that is coming up. Of all the things we've said to you hear this, the key to your success is experiencing the emotion, holding the emotion and then letting go of the emotion. Your strength comes from facing your fear of emotions, living them, feeling them (not containing them) and understanding the importance they play in your well-being and then let go of that emotion you worked through. There is no pain-free way of improving yourself. None.

By embracing the fear of the pain-based emotion you acknowledge it, realize its power and then release it and move forward. Then, yes then, you come to a pain free place and your life becomes easier because you have released the blocked emotion. Stand on your head about it. This means look at it upside down, or from another perspective other than your own. So often people try to make sense of things from their viewpoint, from their own life history, but in fact, rarely will you be able to make sense of anything involving relationship dynamics if you approach it from your own experiential background. You need to look at things from a more objective point of view.

How often do you readjust yourself to make other people happy, to please someone else? Many handle conflict in that manner - self-readjustment. But more than likely you realize that there are some people you will never, ever be able to make happy or please. Never. And you did not attract this to you nor did you create this dynamic. It is just how some people are. There are just mean spirited and unpleasantly natured people out there. Your choice and what you have to choose is if you will allow them to pull you into their dynamic.

Don't lose your life because of the fear of disapproval. Many people, including ministers or priests only tell people what they want to hear and they reaffirm the stories, mythology and acceptable life and universal teachings that reaffirm what you already know. When we speak with you it is to tell you what you need to hear, not necessarily what you want to hear. It is to empower you, to make you look deeper, to have you go further into new processes of self-discovery and this may make some of you uncomfortable.

That is why we say to you that the truth of 'the secret' of The Law of Attraction, has nothing to do with gaining financial or material reward and it has everything to so with spiritual growth. It is why we will also say to you that you do not draw to you all of your life experiences and that the victim never under any set of circumstances has pre-contracted or put out (to the universe) the energy, thought, or vibrational essence that would attract a victimizer to them in order to learn (anything). This is fear based and works through negative assumptions and affirmations.

There are many components to any one person, let alone a society of personalities where people are more and more out of balance with their own selves. Each person is shaped by many factors - behavioral factors, environmental factors - and through free will and through a series of independent choices that have consequences associated with them you experience what you experience in your life.

When you, for example, experience fear, you are creating a belief system that fights against your ability to achieve your potential to be a well and happy person. In saying that, you do co-create with those you interact with, but most importantly you are forgetting that you create your own perceptions and values systems. So you do draw to you, in the limited sense that you fight against your own self and the relationship you have with yourself to be the best you can be. How you choose to carry that into your outside world is up to you.

When you tell people what they need to hear so they can be proactive in their own life they may not like it. But spirit is concerned with the whole you and the essence of your spiritual development. If you are on a strong spiritual base then you can achieve your fullest potential which will eliminate the self-conflicts that block you from various forms of success (or how you choose to measure success.) Your sense of spirit and your connection to your higher-self should be tolerant, inclusional (not exclusional) and forgiving.

Some people just cannot feel right unless they are feeling wrong. You can be addicted to many things and emotions are one of those forms of addiction. Transcend your fear and limitations by knowing that those are acquired traits and they have little, if anything to do with the real you that is based in purity and lightness of being.

Now, more than likely you are at the point in your life where you are looking for something more than just existing. You want to be fulfilled. This can never come from outside sources and is only attainable through inside healing. Take small steps and stop comparing yourself to other people. Find the blessing in comparing yourself to those who are in need and see how truly blessed your life is and in doing that you will also discover compassion for those who have so much less than you.

Your good days start now. Embrace a new beginning by challenging yourself to forgive yourself for whatever it is you are hanging onto and move forward into a bright new life filled with the potential for unlimited successes. Everything that is was once a thought. Embrace it, realize it and release it - let your thoughts and dreams come to fruition.